Less than a month out until I’m a full deck of cards. Aside from wondering how this could possibly be, each year around my birthday I take inventory of my life. My days are full, challenging, and I'm always learning. Check. But the ledger has ample entries in both columns. The lines on my forehead and between my brows tell the story of the debit column. It’s been a stressful year.
Beyond the love of family and friends, what keeps me afloat is music.
I struggle, however, with tree-in-the-forest syndrome. Why do I create music? Does anybody hear me? Am I terrible? Why on earth do I care? Couldn’t I just continue with the rest of my very full, busy life and leave music well enough to the millions of other musical souls out there?
Nope. Can’t do it.
For as long as I can remember, music has been a part of me. Giving it up would feel like voluntarily surrendering a limb. It’s hard-wired. Music is my chlorophyll. It draws in sunlight, nourishes and energizes me.
I have a new music project called Ghoste. I realize it’s raised some eyebrows amongst my more Cartesian friends who think I’ve gone off the crystal, Ouija Board, deep-end. No more so than usual, kids. It’s still just me.
Instead of sulking, feeling invisible and voiceless, I found a new fun place to play. Where I can create outside of the constraints of “Jenny Bruce” singer-songwriter. Proud of the work I’ve done as such but needed a change.
Look… it was that or a nose ring and tattoo. Not ruling those out just yet.
Bring on the light. My aging leaves are evergreen.